• Grief,  Spiritual Journey

    Restoration

    I first noticed it one morning last week. I had been in a really great mood the day before and I woke up in a great mood. I had just fixed breakfast, paleo pancakes and eggs, and I was sitting at the table eating while I fed Aslan. We were being silly making funny faces over breakfast and I ended up turning on some music. I scooped him up out of his high chair for an impromptu dance party. These dance parties happen often as we both love to dance, but as the sweet sound of his giggle rang out I felt it. I felt like me again. It almost…

  • Grief

    366 days

    I haven’t written a post in a few months. I’m sorry. I can blame the busy-ness of the holidays and that I am building my own business and working now, but if I’m honest I’ve been avoiding it. I wasn’t sure what to write and the holidays and approaching anniversary felt just too hard. I felt on the verge of tears pretty much all the time, so I didn’t want to sit with that pain long enough to make a post. But today I had some cancellations and found myself with several hours of child free time and so I knew it was time. Time for me to sit with…

  • Grief,  Spiritual Journey

    With this Ring

    8 years ago today Joshua took me to the Biltmore House. We spent the whole day together and out in the gardens of the house we sat down on a bench, he got down on one knee, told me that he would love me forever and asked me to marry him. We had been together for 5 years and had already experienced more than most couples including the death of his mother, but through it all we loved each other. I knew that no matter what else might get thrown at us we were going to make it through. I happily said yes and put on this gorgeous custom designed…

  • Grief

    How to help someone who is grieving

    I’ve seen posts like this before and I think I even shared one many months ago on my personal page, but I figured I would take a crack at it and give my own spin. Many people have commented that they enjoy and appreciate reading about my grief process and that it’s been helpful for them as they walk through either their own grief or that of someone close to them. So think of this as an honest guide on what to do (or what not to do) when you encounter someone who is grieving. Let me preface this by saying that it will be in no way an exhaustive…

  • Grief,  Spiritual Journey

    Why the Lion?

    You may notice the Lion theme. There is a reason why. This might be a bit of a long post today but it’s a good story. My son’s name is Aslan Judah. When you bring up the name Aslan, many people instantly have an image or reference for the Lion from Narnia. If you’ve ever read the books or seen the movies even, you know that the Lion is the main figure in the story. The one that saves the day. Specifically it is the Christ figure in the story. His character is one of great strength and power, but also deep love, gentleness, wisdom, and ultimate sacrifice. There is…

  • Grief

    Greif is weird

    Yep. Grief is weird. It comes and goes in waves. I saw a video that was shared on Facebook a few months ago about grief and it couldn’t be more accurate. At one time the thought was that grief got smaller over time. It kept shrinking until eventually it didn’t hurt so much anymore. Well that’s not really true. Someone told me just this week, that once intense grief is born it never goes away. It really doesn’t shrink either. In the video it explained that really instead of shrinking, our life just grows around it. Our life gets bigger so it can seem like maybe its shrinking, but it…

  • Grief,  Spiritual Journey

    Memories

    Time Hop is a blessing and a curse. I check it every day and I love seeing old memories and what I did on this day various years before. I even enjoy seeing old posts and pictures of Joshua and I. It can be bittersweet to see them because I miss him, but I still like to look at them. However, this picture came up a few weeks ago and it about broke me. You see this is Joshua and his sweet nephew Samuel. I remember taking the picture. Samuel was only a few weeks old and I remember my heart swelling with love and pride seeing my love hold…

  • Grief

    Month 7

    I know its been a few weeks since I’ve posted anything. Life has been a little bit busy. I’m in the process of starting my own private practice which has long been a dream of mine. While its a big undertaking, it will allow me flexibility and the ability to be able to work part time and make my own hours. You can check out my counseling website at www.walkingbravecounseling.comĀ Aslan also took his first plane ride as we traveled out west to Colorado for a little vacation. So anyway I’m back. I’m not exactly sure why but this last month has been particularly hard. I’ve cried this last month like…

  • Grief

    Leaning In

    I heard once that when you are in the darkness, the fastest way to get to the light is to run into the darkness, rather than chase the sunset. It makes sense. The darkness is beginning to surround us and where it once was light, the sun is setting. Its a scary feeling. We might see a glimmer of light on the horizon and want to run toward it. It feels very counter-intuitive to turn around and run into the darkness. Its scary, lonely, and just plain hard. But we could potentially spend years trying to chase this glimmer of light when the reality is that by running into the…